Not long ago, the word “home” required little explanation. It was a word that described the place where you grew up, the place where you returned for the holidays, the place that conjured up warm memories of childhood and family. These days, however, that word has gotten a bit more difficult to define.
In the past, people would live and die in the same town where they were born. Even when putting down roots of their own, they would not go far. The home where you were born continued to be the nucleus of the family long after you grew up and set up a household of your own. You would return there to see the folks and celebrate special occasions. That was, of course, before all the folks decided to retire to Florida or to some other pensioner’s paradise.
Millennials may be the first generation to experience their parents pulling up stakes and moving away. For many parents there is no choice. They are forced to leave metropolitan areas where they initially settled down for good jobs and competitive salaries. However, many big cities are not economically friendly to retirees hence the mass exodus to states better suited to those on a fixed income.
It is also true that sons and daughters sometimes decide not to return home after graduating from college. They may find jobs in their college towns or decide to settle in another city to pursue employment. This new reality leaves us feeling as though there is no home base, no nest, no one place that has quite the same feeling as the old-fashioned definition of home.
This evolving concept of home and family does not lend itself to building memories and carrying on traditions. Traditions are an important part of our culture. With family members hours away and sometimes several states away from each other, how can we maintain close relationships? When it is time to go home for the holidays, where do we go? I worry that we will lose that comforting feeling associated with the notion of returning home.
As old traditions fade away, it is important to replace them with new ones. When my husband and I got married, we each brought two grown daughters into our marriage. My two daughters live in the U. S. and his live in Canada. It is difficult to have our girls under the same roof at the same time. There are 500 miles between them and they each have their own busy lives.
While it may be impossible for all of us to be together for the holidays, we have still tried to build traditions. Each year in early December, we bridge the distance by meeting halfway at a charming Inn in Upstate New York for an early Christmas celebration. We spend the weekend together, we exchange gifts, and we have a lot of fun. The best part of our new tradition is that our four girls get to catch up with each other and spend time together — and we get to spend time with all of them. They may not have grown up together but they are step-sisters with one important thing in common. They are dearly loved.
It would be ideal if my little family could spend every holiday together but the miles make that very unlikely. Our new tradition works for all of us. It takes a year of planning, coordinating work schedules, and very early Christmas shopping, but we make it happen. The important thing about any tradition is the feeling of anticipation and excitement that comes along with it. We have managed to achieve that with our annual Christmas trip. For one weekend every year, that charming little Inn in Upstate New York has become our home for the holidays.
In my search for a way to achieve the old-fashioned meaning of home, I realized that it may be less about returning to a place from your past and more about going to a place where you always feel loved and cherished.
StickLady wishes you and yours a wonderful holiday season!